What does it mean to be one flesh in a marriage?

The term “one flesh” comes from the Genesis account of the creation of Eve.

The Book of Genesis describes the process by which God created Eve from a rib taken from Adam’s side as he slept. Adam recognized that Eve was part of him: they were in fact “one flesh.”

To my mind the term “one flesh” means that just as our bodies are one whole entity and cannot be divided into pieces and still be a whole, so God intended it to be with the marriage relationship.

This mean that when you look at a married couple there are no longer two entities (two individuals), but now there is one entity, ( the married couple).

I think there are a number of aspects to this new union that are worth further exploration.

As far as emotional attachments are concerned, the new unit takes precedence over all previous and future relationships

Some marriage partners continue to place greater weight upon ties with parents than with the new partner. This can be a recipe for disaster in the marriage and is a perversion of God’s original intention of “leaving and cleaving.” I think similar problems could develop when a spouse begins to draw closer to a child, to meet emotional needs, rather than to his or her partner.

Emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, financially, and in every other way, the couple is to become one. Even as one part of the body cares for the other body parts

for example,

• the stomach digests food for the body,
• the brain directs the body for the good of the whole,
• the hands work for the sake of the body

so each partner in the marriage is to care for the other. Each partner is no longer to see money earned as “my” money; but rather as “our” money.

This oneness and desire to benefit each other is not automatic, especially after mankind’s fall into sin. The man is told to “cleave” to his wife.

As people our tendency is to “do what feels good to me” rather than to consider what will benefit the spouse. This self-centeredness is the rut that marriages commonly falls into once the “honeymoon is over.” Instead of each spouse dwelling upon how his or her own needs are not being met, he or she should remain focused on meeting the needs of the spouse.

As nice as it may be for two people to live together meeting each other’s needs, God has a higher calling for the marriage.

In the Garden of Eden, there were three present (Adam, Eve, and God), and there was joy. So, if God is central in a marriage today, there also will be joy. Without God, a true and full oneness is not possible.