Bullying comes in may different forms and it is something that many people have to deal with at one point or another in their life.
When we think of bullying we often think of the physical but I think mental bullying is just as present and sometimes goes unnoticed for a lot longer.
This is, I know a subject that can invoke many negative reactions and this writing is in no way an exhaustive study.
There is something else to consider here also. Sometimes people are bullying deliberately and sometimes it’s more passive. What I mean by this is that mental bullying is not always deliberate. It can be the result of behaviors that someone exhibits. They may feel they are doing the right ting but the recipient of their word or actions can perceive it as bullying.
I think we could describe bullying in the following way.
A person or persons using superior strength or power to intimidate people.’ Bullies are those who prey on people they perceive as weaker and threaten them with harm, or actually harm them, in order to get their own way.
Obviously, bullying is not godly.
We are called to love others and to look out for those who are weaker, not to intimidate or manipulate people.
It is clear to anyone with a good moral code or strong Faith that we should not be bullies. The question then before us is , how should we respond to bullying?
This has to be broken down further into these 2 scenarios
- when you are the victim of bullying and
- when you are a witness to bullying.
When being bullied, a right response might be turning the other cheek, or it might be self-defense.
When Jesus spoke of ‘turning the other cheek’ in Matthew 5:40–41
5:40 Ye have heard that it hath been said. An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.
5:41 But I say unto you, that ye resist not evil; but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
He taught us to refrain from retaliating to personal slights. The idea is not to return an insult with an insult. When someone verbally abuses us, we do not return his affront with insults of our own as this action makes us no better that the person we are in conflict with. . When someone tries to assert their position of power to intimidate us or force us into a certain behavior, we can resist their manipulation without being manipulative in return. In short, bullying a bully is not biblical and, quite frankly, not useful.
When we observe bullying, we may feel that it is appropriate to step in and help prevent the attack against the victim. However we have to take time to really understand all sides of the situation as it will be different, not always be clear-cut and one issue can differ vastly from another. It also worth taking into account that many times stepping in will add to the problem.
Often it takes just one person to stand up on behalf of a weaker party in order to stop the bullying and prevent it in the future.
Certainly, we could talk with a victim of bullying after the incident and help the victim with any needs.
We also need to consider our thoughts and attitudes toward bullies. It is easy to demonize bullies and think of them as hateful people. However, this is not a godly attitude. Every human being is born a sinner, and we all need salvation.
Romans 3:23
For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God
Many times, though, bullies act the way they do out of their own hurt. Perhaps they were bullied in the past. I do believe that for most, their past experiences shape they way they are today so we have to show a level of compassion even to those who we perceive are doing wrong. ||It’s worth considering that perhaps they feel insecure, and the only way they can feel acceptable to themselves is by belittling others.
We can empathize with their hurt and extend God’s compassion, love, and grace to them while also maintaining solid boundaries to address their wrong behavior
what ever the bullying is driven by, God is the one who can bring healing, restoration, and change.
I think it is always necessary for us to pray for both bullies and their victims. We also need to remember that , when we are the victim of bullying, we can go to God with our hurt and seek His reassurance and healing.
Have a look at this passage from Romans
Romans 12:17–21
12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath; for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink; for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
What this is saying is Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. If it is possible, as much as you can , live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge,but leave room for God’s wrath, I will repay,’ says the Lord.
But it also says If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.
Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good
God has shown incredible mercy to us in giving us a path to salvation despite our naturally sinful state. We were created in His image so we should do all we can in life to reflect his life.
We should show this to others in the way we behave by not bullying, by standing up to defend the weak, by being willing to forgive, by preventing bullying as best we can through appropriate social channels, and by praying for those who bully and who are bullied.
And always remember that the love and grace of God are enough to heal every wound.
Saints of the Restoration 